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Never mind the state border wars

These border wars between our states got me thinking some of them could do with new names.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into that cancel culture stuff.

But looking at almost half of the country being called Western Australia made me think surely we can do better.

And when you look at the USA, how good are some of their state names.

California, Wisconsin, Nevada, Arkansas, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Arizona, Texas and so on and so on.

Fifty states and all named for something that’s special about them.

Here we just use the geographic location, South Australia, Northern Territory, which is a pragmatic approach but a bit on the boring side.

Two of our states are named after the monarchy, Victoria and Queensland, and don’t get me started on New South Wales.

Almost forgot Tasmania, which was named after explorer Abel Tasman, who at first named it after his boss, Van Diemen.

The thing is if we did decide to go change the names of the states, it would prove almost impossible to get agreement on a particular name.

But since this is more or less hypothetical and we’re just using the cover of Covid to indulge in first world problems, let’s see what new names could be found for our mainland states. These are my Top 5:

Number 1: The first state, NSW, would be called, if I had my way, Burragorang. It’s all about kangaroos and hunting and what could be a more dinky-di name for the best state in the country.

Lake Burragorang.

Number 2. Victoria. How embarrassing, named after an English Queen. Under my reign it shall be known henceforth as Yarra, like the rivet that runs through its biggest city

Number 3. Queensland was also named after the same Queen as Victoria. Bananas come to mind, as do pineapples and mangoes when you think of Queensland. But we will call it XXXX after its most famous beverage. Sorry, banana benders.

Number 4. South Australia means great Shiraz so Barossa is that great state’s proposed new name.

Number 5. Western Australia has always been the state that’s most keen to secede from the Commonwealth. In the future it will be known as Swan River.

So there you go, Burragorang, Yarra, XXXX, Barossa and Swan River.

And if it was a Top 7 the Northern Territory would be Alice Springs and the ACT Weereewa, the Aboriginal name for Lake George.

Admit it, all a big improvement on current names.

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