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Only thing wrong with shopping: lots of others are doing it

She was a well dressed, mature woman and she was standing right in front of the packets of salmon fillets I wanted to buy for dinner.

Having done the rest of the shopping, all that was needed was the salmon and I could be on my merry way.

But it was not to be.

I stood behind the woman for more than three minutes as she picked up packet after packet of some seafood product and read the fine print.

She didn’t move a centimetre right or left the entire time and I was starting to wonder whether she was tormenting me on purpose.

You just don’t know what to do in those circumstances nor do you have a clue what the correct protocol or etiquette would be.

Hell, I didn’t even know if there was a protocol for standing like a dill behind someone for whom time didn’t really matter.

Now it’s true that we live in an age where most people believe they are time poor.

There are exceptions to every rule, and this woman standing between me and my salmon was no doubt the President of The Republic of Plenty of Time for Everything.

The ordeal finally ended when she walked away – without purchasing anything.

But Murphy’s Law must have kicked in because it soon became obvious my miserable, never ending shopping expedition was far from over.

Having joined a queue, it was too late to withdraw when I looked up and saw the familiar face of the slowest checkout operator in the store.

Not to mention one of the worst packers of groceries you’ll ever have the dubious pleasure of serving you.

But to business now, and my Top 5 annoying experiences while out and about in the big, bad world.

Number 1. You catch a bus and there’s just one seat left but the person using half of it is hogging the outside so you decide to stand anyway.

Number 2. If you drive and the carpark is full you will see some people in a car following a shopper who is pushing a trolley. What’s funny is after putting the groceries away he turns around and says to the driver of the car waiting for the space: sorry, I am not leaving just yet.

Number 3. The shameless sneaks who jump the queue at the checkout. You’ve got to be quick with these guys.

Number 4. Queueing up to buy a couple of pizza bases and you can see there’s about 10 left on the deli counter, but the guy in front of you buys the whole lot and you have to change your dinner plans.

Number 5. It’s a real mystery why lotto players prefer to queue behind 10 people to ask the newsagent to check if their tickets have won. There’s a machine a metre away where they can do it themselves in no time. They’re either technophobes or members of The Republic of Plenty of Time for Everything.



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