At high school, a friend came to school after not turning up the day before, and the teacher asked him where he’d been. I went to my grandmother’s funeral, the youngster replied. The teacher thought for a moment, then said: I think this is the third time you’ve missed school because you went to your grandmother’s funeral. Sprung! Yes, indeed, if you need to come up with creative excuses for not turning up to school or work, the first rule to remember is an excuse can only be used once, because recycling it will more than likely land you in hot water. After that warning, here are our Top Five excuses for not turning up to work or school:
NUMBER 5: I think I may have the Ebola virus after a friend of mate who just returned from west Africa dropped by for a beer so I now need to go to the doctor’s to get checked.
NUMBER 4: I’ve locked myself out of the house and they car keys are still inside, while the locksmith says he will get there in a day or two. Worst case scenario, one week.
NUMBER 3: My cat/dog is sick and I need to take it to the vet. Get another day off a few months later by telling your boss that the “cat died and today I am having its funeral’’.
NUMBER 2: I am a Bulldogs supporter and on the way home after the grand final I was abducted by drunken Bunnies fans who tied me up to a seat on the bus to La Perouse and now I can’t find my way home.
NUMBER 1: I am a South Sydney supporter and the TILL I DIE tattoo I got on my forehead yesterday has become infected.
