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Beware of the traps in the fascinating world of friendships

It’s fascinating how we make friends in so many different ways.

Writing the story of the two Danielas from Twosome Creative reminded me that some things will just happen, so it’s good advice never to try to force anything when it comes to friendship.

For those two you can see that even though they didn’t know each other from a bar of soap until they were 18 their individual trajectories were heading towards each other and it was inevitable that they would end up great friends themselves as well as their families once they started working, got married and had children.

And then there’s the many circles of friendship, with each smaller than the next, until you get the smallest inner one where your best friends live.

Just like the two Danielas, sometimes you can know someone for a while and are on one of the outer circles of friendship when something happens and it becomes much more than that.

There’s also plenty of situations where you need to be wary on the question of friendship.

One I’ve heard about is when parents try to be friends with the parents of someone their child married – the dreaded in-laws.

I think in-laws should be mostly like neighbours – tread lightly and don’t step on each other’s toes and you will be sweet.

Try to push that sort of friendship to an inner circle and it could be asking for trouble – imagine for example if the kids separated or divorced…

Some brothers are best friends, as are some sisters, and in some cultures cousins can also end up as the best of mates.

The last observation that needs to be made here is that in politics they say that if you want a friend get a dog.

Here’s some Top 5 ways we make friends during our lives.

Number 1. I really envy people who have friends from primary school; what a huge effort that is to stay in touch and be besties for so long; congratulations, you’re the best.

Number 2. We also make a lot of friends, some closer than others, when we join things like sporting clubs, church groups and so on.

Number 3. One of the most common places where we make friends a little later in life is where we work. Some of these friendship can sometimes be the most enduring, especially once everyone involved stops talking shop when they catch up.

Number 4. I know I sounded the warning above, but it’s nonetheless true we also become friends with the parents of our young children’s mates.

Number 5. Last but not least is the random way, where you meet a complete stranger for the first time and there’s obvious chemistry there. It can be exciting, but it’s probably best to check you haven’t just become besties with a serial killer.

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