Since the arrival of social media sites like Facebook and Twitter the definition of friendship has come under the microscope. In recent years some people have developed tough friendship criteria, and I saw one just before last Christmas that made me cringe because I thought nobody’s going to make that friendship list simply because nobody’s perfect. So Top 5 takes a funky look – that’s our default position as regular readers will know – at what postmodern human beings look for in our friends, real and the virtual kind:
• Number 1. Balance – speaking of virtual friends, would you have someone as a friend who completely dismisses social media? It’s very amusing to sit back and listen to these people describe how evil Twitter can be or how your privacy is constantly trashed on Facebook. On the other hand, would you befriend someone who is in love with social media and that’s pretty much the only way they interact. The answer, my friends, is balance. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Personally, soon as I hear someone spouting radical positions, my first instinct is to run away as far as possible.
• Number 2: Loyalty – an oldie but a goodie, you’d have to agree. If a so called friend is always bagging you behind your back, well, with friends like that who needs enemies. A big one, loyalty.
• Number 3: Unconditional love – once you make a friend, real or virtual, you have to take the whole package, warts and all, even if you find out years later about their terrible shortcomings; this is probably the best definition of loyalty but it’s hard, and no wonder you hear so many stories of friends being “brushed’’ these days.
• Number 4: generosity/dependability – if you can’t rely on real friends in your time of need what is the point of having them as friends. As we all know, a personal crisis will reveal who your true friends are, especially if you need financial help or even just a shoulder or two to cry on.
• Number 5: drum roll, please Mr Music Man, sense of humour – most definitely the most critical factor in all friendships, especially when Number 3 is present, that is, a lot of shortcomings becoming apparent in a friend as the years roll on. Laugh it off, remember love of a friend is supposed to be unconditional, and move on. Or go to Facebook and post an obtuse account of your feelings, which will be an exercise in futility but may make you feel better for a minute or two.
