Take up Joe’s tip and get a decent job you lot

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joe-hockey_0The whole Joe Hockey “get a good job if you want to buy a house in Sydney’’ thing reminded us of a Seinfeld episode where George Costanza is a little depressed after another employment failure. He’s lying on the couch in Gerry’s place and Seinfeld is trying to cheer him up. So, he says to George, what sort of a job do you think you’d like to do?

George is obviously playing Joe Hockey here because he reveals he has lost touch with reality, telling Gerry he’d like to work as a TV sports commentator. Gerry says, well, that’s sort of a closed shop as they tend to hire ex footballers, and George says oh well, maybe marine biologist or architect would be worth applying for. Fans of the show will remember that George, desperate for love, pretended to be both an architect and marine biologist throughout the series.

Maybe Joe Hockey was a fan of Seinfeld and he was just channeling some of the fantasies of this brilliant satire. Joe does seem to be a really, really nice bloke, but he has said some thing that are just silly.

As for us, well, here’s five jobs that we fantasise may help you into a big Sydney mortgage:

1.  You drive a truck at present? Chuck that in and start practising as a dentist – have you seen the bill they present you after the consultation? Personally, I always like to say to my dentist as he hands me my credit card back: Ouch, Con, that hurt more than the drill did in there!

2. You’re a nurse? Forget that, get a job as a doctor and while they may not charge like a bull as dentists do, there aren’t any doctors sleeping out with the homeless people either.

3. Get a job in an investment bank doing anything at all. In the good old days even the toilet cleaners at the Macquarie Bank were made millionaires. Fantasies are nice, aren’t they.

4. Related to that is being a mortgage broker – just the job title gets you that little bit closer to your ultimate dream, a renovator’s delight in Dulwich Hill. Remember that the little Aussie battler, John Symond of Aussie Home Loans, is basically a mortgage broker and he has just spent $50 million building a new home.

5. What else, a successful politician just like Joe Hockey. You too can have a Sydney mortgage and afford fat Cuban cigars, yes indeed, if you pick up your nice big salary from what seems like a bottomless pit but is in fact tax money collected from bloody hard working Australians.

 

1 thought on “Take up Joe’s tip and get a decent job you lot”

  1. Firstly Eric , lets start with the important bits about nothing , Jerry is with a ” J ” not a ” G ”
    Now that we’ve got that out of the way I think its important for us all to remember being good at any job is going to give you a great start. I wouldn’t want young readers to be disheartened. Yes there are some jobs that seem to be very shiny and attractive, but come the next cycle of correction even those jobs “take a hit” and become not so attractive any more and Ive seen them all look for new opportunities. We can easily have a go at Hockey but really is he saying anything we shouldn’t already know ? I prefer to not get into a big fat Sydney mortgage and wait out this excitement . They won’t run out of land or releases, just be patient and do things within your means and don’t forget to live a little along the way.

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