Gather around folks, and let me tell you a story about our silly habit of making resolutions just before change of year on December 31. Ninety-nine percent of the time ninety-nine percent of us break these New Year’s resolutions, sometimes all at once. To be fair, some people have enough willpower to break one at a time. So enjoy the last night of 2014 as you ponder whether to make some resolutions for 2015. Here are some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions over the ages:
1. I’m going on a diet. Good luck is all we can say, having tried this 30-40 times and failed every single time. You’d have more chance of success if you resolved to become US president.
2. Giving up the smokes goes up in smoke, sorry, quicker than you can say Camel. Here at Top Five we remember once lasting most of January 1 before lighting up. Of course we are totally smoke free these days, mercifully, and with the benefit of hindsight we can see what a stupid habit smoking is.
3. Cutting back on the grog. Note that very few people resolve to totally give up alcohol on new year’s eve, no, they just promise themselves a reduced intake next 12 months. What’s the point of that? Cheers.
4. I will finally do some exercise next year. Yeah, right. You probably had nine beers too many when you made that resolution on NYE and just forgot how boring exercise is. Yes, it’s good for you, no argument there. But it’s so boring, especially as it’s mostly an individual activity, your new year’s exercise regime gradually comes to a grinding halt like a bus with a flat tyre. Easier to just eat less.
5. Love this one: Promise to spend more quality time with the people I love. And how will you do that, buddy? Next year all your time, 24/7, will be taken up shopping for healthy foods, taking it home, chopping it up and putting it in the new age food processor. Or you will be exercising. Any precious few minutes left over you devote to the virtual life we all live this days, your nose stuck in an iphone or ipad checking out Facebook or Twitter to see what your loved ones have been up to lately. Now that’s quality time, lol.
