Here I am, rugged up inside and trying to string a few words together, but this duck pictured above outside my window, has been trying to sabotage me all day.
What it does is fly in and land in my backyard, and starts to graze on the grass.
Except that it’s not grazing, but inching its way towards my swimming pool.
Now, I don’t mind a duck, or eight, enjoying a swim in my pool.
Unfortunately, that’s not all ducks do in the pool – they also like to use it as a dunny, and enough said about the details of such activity.
Once upon a time I poured chemicals in the pool that ducks don’t like, and a second or two after landing on the water they would take off.
That stuff really did work, but after a while I decided that even though it was effective it was just one more chemical in our environment, creeks, waterways.
So, now, soon as I see the duck or ducks, I chase them away by waving a cricket bat at them.
But they keep coming back, so it becomes a little tiresome after the sixth or seventh time. Our friend in the picture landed eight times so far today, but who’s counting.
Thinking about all that reminded me of the reaction people have when you tell them that you live on five acres that’s 10 minutes from the shops.
Oh, no neighbours, that must be living in paradise, you’re so lucky, they gush.
And I’m thinking yeah, it’s good, but it’s not paradise, in fact it can be hell at times, and that’s just the wild animals.
Yes, you’ve guessed where this is going – my Top 5 pet hates of living on acreage.
Number 1. No, not the brown ducks, it’s the rabbits that top this list, because they don’t just munch on the grass, they also dig holes everywhere, hundreds of them – there’s more divots here than you can find on a golf course.
Number 2. OK, the ducks are here on the list because of their poor toilet habits. Really, if they didn’t do that it wouldn’t worry me having them around one bit.
Number 3. Having your own chooks, fresh eggs, all that sounds great. But the foxes aren’t far behind, so forget it.
Number 4. Stray cats and dogs. We don’t have any of our own, but who needs to when a cat or a dog will wander in at regular intervals. We do send them back to where they came from, the dogs anyway.
Number 5. Koalas and wallabies. They’re on here not because they are naughty but because we’d love to see them more often than once or twice a year!