I’ve been to Malta for hours now, Your Highness, and I haven’t seen a single Malteser, is not what you may say to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II when you meet her for the first time.
That’s right, not even when you’re such a man of destiny like Malcolm Turnbull, Prime Minister of Australia, President of the Republic of Australia in waiting.
And at nearly 90 it’s doubtful our Gracious Queen would get the joke anyway, so probably best to play a straight bat, Mal.
Of course the funniest aspect of it all was the TV coverage of it, announcers breathlessly describing it as the most anticipated meeting between the republican PM and his monarch since whenever.
The truth is hardly anyone cared, let alone sat in front of the telly with bated breath to see our PM curtsy to the reigning Queen of Australia in Malta for the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting.
Still, it would have been interesting to hear the top 5 things our not so humble PM may have wanted to say to the Queen:
♦ Number 1. Excuse me, Your Majesty, what’s the retirement age for reigning monarchs?
♦ Number 2. Oh, that, there was nothing personal in the republic referendum in ’99, it was only business.
♦ Number 3. Talking about the President of the Republic of Australia, I, myself, personally, present as rather regal, wouldn’t you say?
♦ Number 4. That Prince Charlie of yours, he’s a bit of a scallywag, isn’t he, Ma’am.
♦ Number 5. Is it true John Howard was only your second most favourite Aussie PM, after Sir Robert – I but saw her passing by – Menzies?
