Nobody ever said criminals were intelligent, but a recent break-in at Campbelltown Harlequins Rugby Club may just mean the bar is even lower than we thought.
Whoever was responsible damaged two doors of the clubhouse, which is located in the Campbelltown Showground.
Their haul? Four Ring Pops, 38 Zappos, 14 cans of soft drink.
No, sorry to disappoint you, but that was actually all they took.
There was nothing else at all, and no doubt Campbelltown Police Command’s finest have been assigned to the case
It’s certainly not the case of the century, which explains why the club, while upset with the damaging of the doors, could only respond with a heavily ironic post on social media.
“Last night, some absolute pillars of society decided to break into Campbelltown Harlequin Rugby Club,’’ they posted.
“Clearly, we’re dealing with a highly sophisticated criminal operation.
“The planning, the execution, the sheer ambition of it all.
“Ocean’s Eleven has nothing on these masterminds.
“We can only assume there’s a thriving black market for sour lollies, and novelty jewellery, that we’re not aware of.’’
The post then turned serious, to make sure readers knew exactly how awful the break-in was for all the hard working people of this community sport club.
“In all seriousness, breaking into a volunteer-run community sporting club to steal what amounts to a primary school party bag is a pretty special kind of pathetic.
“We’re all volunteers, working hard to give local kids somewhere to play rugby, make friends and be part of something positive.
“Now we get to spend our time and money repairing doors because someone desperately needed a sugar hit.
“PS. Hope the Ring Pops were worth it, champions.’’
