Hands up those of you who at some stage on New Year’s Eve resolved to give up alcohol in 2016?
Yeah, well, join the rest of us, it’s a very big club.
For some reason we just never learn when it comes to New Year’s resolutions.
Every fibre of logic in our being tells us it’s a total waste of time but we do it anyway.
And it’s always the same old, same old: booze, food, dieting, etc.
For better or worse, here’s our Top 5 New Year’s resolutions in the digital era:
Number 1. Booze: Of course, what else is going to be number on our list of things we’d like to cut back on or give up altogether? And by January 12, we realise the error of our ways, especially that dinner party you’re going to where they will be serving chilled oysters, giant cooked scallops and prawns and grilled teriyaki salmon. Pass me that bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, please.
Number 2. Weight loss. This could easily be number one, but who’s going to go on a diet with all those yummy leftovers and Christmas sweets lying around the house. Diet starts…in February. Good luck.
Number 3. Facebook diet. This means different things to different people but mostly it’s for those who got burned online the previous 12 months and are still unhappy about it. So, they promise to never post anything on Facebook or Twitter again, and certainly avoid posting any strong opinions. The funny thing is they reckon they’re leaving social media because there are too many idiots on it. There are too many idiots in real life but you don’t resign from that.
Number 4. No more Mr Cynical. I promise to always treat people as though they are all basically good hearted, kind and gentle. Being cynical just gets you into trouble because others think you’re an arrogant so and so. Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble.
Number 5. Community service. I promise to chip in and help around my community a bit more than last year, in any way I can. One year I will actually get to do some volunteer work. Maybe 2016 is the year.
Happy New Year.
